Alright 2021…let’s be friends!

2021, I thought I was friends with 2020. Turns out she was a bitch and apparently her name was Karen. She drank a lot and was like a loose fucking cannon. And she argued with a white cat a lot. I really hope you’re better. I really can’t handle another 2020 situationship or another Karen. I can handle another white cat, though. So if you’re up for that, I am, too.

So here’s what I need in this friendship: I need some reciprocity. If I am nice, you need to be nice. It’s really simple. I also need you to take any medications that are necessary to keep you on an even keel. The bullshit that 2020 gave of murder hornets, Corona Virus, quarantines, hiding toilet paper, online arguments and some crazy orange man taking over the White House and sending out tweets to twits was just some over-the-top crazy. So 2021, take your damn meds! I’m all about holistic approaches, but not when you’re bouncing all over the place. Please! I am begging. Take your meds. You’ll feel better and so will the rest of the world.

I also need for you to give some warning of any chaos that may be coming. And can you please, for the love of God, keep Mother Nature from drinking too much? Last year she got a little crazy with some weather mood swings. We’d go from hot as Hades to freezing our asses off in the blink of an eye. Well, when we walked from our house to our cars trying to find the elusive toilet paper and Clorox wipes.

Maybe this year you can bring us some peace? That would be nice. Peace on earth and goodwill towards men (and women) would be such a nice change. It would be wonderful to be able to talk to others without screaming about politics and such. It would be great to have some pleasant things to talk about. Can you find some good things for us? All over the world? Please.

And maybe sprinkle some fairy dust or whatever it would take everywhere so that our moods improve. 2020/Karen really brought out the worst in us. I know there were times I behaved in ways I never thought imaginable. There was even the episode that my friends and I now refer to as “the day that Anonymous went Walmart on someone’s ass.” It was not a pretty day and many curse words were used. It was effective but it was not my normal nature.

Now I’d like to tell you that I am really glad you’re here, 2021. I am. I think your name should be Hope. You don’t look like a Karen at all. Let’s be friends and do some great things!

Listen to Your Heart

I wrote recently that the guy I call CutiePie and I had another one of our tiffs and I was tired of his bullshit. I was fed up and quit talking to him. I still cared about him but I just couldn’t deal with him. We didn’t talk for 6.5 weeks.

All day on Monday I kept getting this feeling that I needed to message him. I kept thinking I must just miss him. And I have missed him. So I just pushed it off to the side and told myself to shut up. But it kept on and and on. Tuesday morning I woke up with that same nagging feeling but this time it was much more intense. It was like my heart was pounding and I had to reach out to him.

I waited until I got to work and settled in at my desk. I didn’t want to be driving and dealing with a hateful reply. I wasn’t even sure I would get a reply. I sent, “You were on my mind this morning and I just wanted to let you know I hope you’re well.” I didn’t want him to think I was swooning or pining but I wanted to convey care. Five minutes later I received a response that broke my heart. He replied, “I’m ok even though we’re burying my mom today.” I started crying because I wanted to be there for him. I know how he is with his heart and I knew that he was hurting. And I knew that he loved his mother. He’d lost his father years before. I also understand the pain of losing both parents so my heart just ached for him. If I’d known earlier I would have gone to the funeral, but I didn’t know until that moment. I told him if he needed anything to please let me know. Please call me. He was so thoughtful and grateful that I cared. He thanked me. I told him I really cared and it didn’t matter that we’d not spoken–I’d be right there for him. Today I sent him a card. He likes cards.

The lesson in all this is to trust that feeling when you get it. If it is a passing feeling that you know will go away, then let it go. But if it is something that will not go away, consider acting on it if it is something that isn’t going to harm you. All I did was send a message that expressed concern. But it opened the door to someone who was hurting and needed a friend who understood what he was going through.

If you’re like me, you don’t always trust yourself. But sometimes you have to. It’s a learning process. Learn when to listen to your heart.