I am tired. Physically. Mentally. Spiritually. And any other tired you can be. I. Am. Tired.
My job duties have increased significantly. My pay has not. My frustration has increased significantly as well. This past week I really had to work hard to keep myself from blowing my top. I have worked 60 hours this week in actual work. I volunteered about 5 hours. I also planned work about 2 extra hours. I am exhausted.
In the hierarchy in my workplace, there’s my director, my supervisor and then me. My director has been handing me work left and right. I am supposed to tell my supervisor when he does this so she is aware and will not pass extra stuff to me so that I can complete his stuff. So I have let her know that he has given me extra work. I think instead of trying to lighten my load that my direct supervisor has actually added to it. It’s like she can’t stand the director is trusting me with more stuff to do.
I have been spending thousands of dollars purchasing things for a new construction area. She typically does this. I guess she saw this as a slight. Whatever…it’s actually been a pain for me because I really don’t have time to do all of this research and shopping but yet I am having to do it.
I am a lowly peon. I should be doing lowly peon work, right? Nope. I have also been supervising an employee that my manager should be supervising. She passes her off to me but God forbid I seem like I am “supervising”. I have to do it in a way that seems like I am not. It’s a damn fine line.
Then on Friday my director comes in wanting me to handle a couple of tasks that day. I told him that I would be glad to do that but I couldn’t handle everything that he was giving to me and expecting to be done immediately. I needed to be able to focus and not have someone sitting with me all day long and chatting. I needed to focus and be able to really work and that wasn’t possible when I was having to do the supervising. He said he would talk to my supervisor. I think that didn’t go so well. Friday was a shitty day and I was ready to quit by lunch.
I found out that there was something I should have been ordering that I had never been told to order. Of course my supervisor told me over and over, escalating in loudness, that “no, you should have ordered them at some time over the last 3 years” and I said I had not done that. She then told me over and over, loudly, that I just must have forgotten. She was like a dog with a bone. She wasn’t going to drop it. I even walked away to just make it stop. She followed me to keep saying it. Then she had the audacity to say, “You’re acting like you’re mad!” I told her, “I am not going to argue about this. I didn’t know, but I know now.” She really couldn’t stand that I was so quiet and calm. She went and smoked and then came back and was like, “I didn’t mean to be argumentative but I was just upset.” I almost said that I was upset, too, but I didn’t yell at her or argue. I just stopped talking because there was nothing that was going to appease her.
As the day went on I kept trying to work on what the director wanted. I kept getting pulled away from it. I guess it didn’t matter that he gave the directive to let me work on what he needed done. He left work around 1:30ish. I finally got everything done around 4 pm.
I shut everything down at 4:50 so that I could leave at 5. At 5, I picked up my stuff and locked my door and said “have a good weekend. Bye!” And I left. That’s how most people leave work.
Well, I guess my supervisor was still feeling guilty over her rampage from earlier, I get a text at 5:30 saying I left abruptly and was everything ok? I told her everything was fine and I was tired and wanted to leave on time for once this week. I also thanked her for checking on me. I didn’t reply to any more messages.
I am already dreading Monday. That should be a cluster. Thankfully I am only working 4 days next week. Thankfully! I cant take much more of that.