Isn’t it amazing how when presented with information that a positive attitude makes things so much better? If I am told the same thing by 2 people and one had a good attitude and one was negative, I am going to prefer what the good attitude person said better. It doesn’t matter if it is about something good or bad, the good attitude is usually going to win.
Yesterday was the beginning of my new job. We were inundated with information. I literally came home with a headache and fell asleep for an hour. While some of it was tedious information that I needed to know, the people presenting it were happy with their jobs and in life in general. I am by no means Miz Mary Sunshine. In fact, they usually annoy me if it is overkill. These were just nice people who weren’t over the top. It was kind of amazing.
Another amazing thing was that the new place has all these different employee programs/benefits we can start using right away! It meant a lot to me that these people don’t hate their jobs or the people they work with enough to spend their precious personal time together! While that may not sound like a big deal to anyone else, I am coming from an environment where we couldn’t wait to escape each other and the location. Spending additional time together was like torture. Seeing people who like each other and like to do activities is really inspiring. (My younger self might not have thought so, but my older self sees the value in this.)
Yesterday had a profound effect on me. I really see how a good attitude can be so beneficial.
I have a new job and start on Monday. I was going to work part time at old job but boss told me today that she has decided that they no longer need me. She kinda acted like the idea of me leaving was all hers and she was letting me go. I was going to stay and try to assist them and also my bank account. I realize she was probably pissed off and has been silently seething, but I think she just cut off her nose to spite her face. I am not the best employee to ever do that job but currently I would say that I am. I would want to keep that experience around. I asked her if she was implying that I was leaving on bad terms and she said “I wouldn’t necessarily say that.” What the hell kind of answer is that? I tried to do the right thing with them for several years. The reason I am leaving is because of her. I cannot take her passive aggressiveness any longer. I can’t take her blatant assumptions of guilt for something because an employee doesn’t want to do their job and so they complain to her. I can’t take the continued show of favoritism. She wants employees who kiss her ass rather than do their work. I tried to just focus on my job and leave her alone as much as humanly possible. Why? Because she was THAT bad! And then she tries to act like she is essentially firing me? Ummm….no. I am leaving on my own accord. I offered to help because I knew it was a difficult time. Is it going to be the end all, be all of my existence? HELL NO!
A part of me wants to meet with her boss and have a good heart-to-heart with him and let him know all her sins. But I am not going to do that. Why? Because I am going to let her screw herself over by doing something so bad that another good employee walks. I have been there for years and am leaving. That should say something right there. If management isn’t doing their jobs properly, good employees will find other jobs. It’s that simple.
At first I viewed her saying she didn’t want me to work part time as a bad thing. I do need the money. I am not going to lie. But honestly, my sanity is priceless. And karma is a bitch. So in the end she will get what’s coming and it won’t be pretty and I won’t have that drama or stress in my life any longer.
This week my references sang my praises like I was a saint. The human resources lady said that the only thing they both recommended was that I take more time for myself because I was so responsible and I was the person who wanted to make sure things got done. That honestly made me happy to hear that others thought of me in such a positive light.
Over the years, I have come to a point where I felt like I couldn’t do anything right. I felt as if I was in an abusive relationship. I only heard negative and my life revolved around work for so many years. And it irritated me that my manager didn’t appreciate that and then felt like criticizing everything about me was her mission in life. I didn’t understand her. I know I wasn’t perfect, but I got the job done. I kept that place running when we couldn’t reach management. I have come to the conclusion that this person didn’t like people who could actually think for themselves. I didn’t view her as a superior. I viewed her as my manager, but she wasn’t better than me. I think that bothered her. So she used the power she did have to put me down. Then she allowed others to do so. That’s abusive and is essentially a hostile work environment.
I have been thinking about this new job and am so relieved to be leaving the negativity. My family and friends have been telling me, “You’re not going to know what to do with yourself!” (meaning I won’t be on call all the time and will not be working at random times any longer.) They’re right and wrong. I am excited about free time. I am excited about new friends. I am excited about working on weight loss. I am just EXCITED! It’s a strange feeling to have. Excitement. Me? Yep. I am.
I got the job! They are checking my references, which are spotless. They’re doing a background check. Since I am mostly well behaved, that is fine. They said if everything comes back good, then it is mine. So they haven’t TOLD me yet if it has. I need to turn in my notice. I’m not throwing out my job in hell until I know without any doubt that this is mine! So I worry.
But I am excited, too! It’s with a LARGE organization. I’ll be an office assistant, but I won’t be just sitting in an office! I’ll get to travel 1 day a week, using a company vehicle to other locations. I’ll get to run to other buildings and take care of making sure that the facility is maintained. I will have STEADY work hours. I’ll have better benefits that are cheaper.
I am thankful. And worried. 🙂
I have hope and I wonder if I should dare to do that. Is it tempting fate? Is it a way to get hurt? I don’t know. As some of you know, I have been on the quest for new employment. I had an interview last week and it went really well. I got a call that I missed (because I was asleep from working all night the previous evening) saying that they were calling to discuss my recent interview. I called back but she was already gone. I have been anxious and hopeful all weekend. Most rejections are in the form of ignoring the interviewee after the fact, an email or a form letter. This was a real call! A bona fide cheery call. I’ve been replaying the voicemail and listening for a trace of negativity in it. There was none. I have analyzed the words until I’m sick of myself and my crazy brain that wants to know the what-ifs of everything.
It is now after 4am on what is now Monday morning. I feel like a kid waiting on Santa Claus. I am hoping there isn’t a bag of switches or a lump of coal waiting on me. I’m hoping to hear, “Anonymous, you have a job with a great organization and we want you to start immediately!”
Say a prayer. Think a good thought. I’m about to jump out of my skin!
Just when I thought karma was a joke, it happened. I walked into work today after several days off and lo and behold! The troublemaker who had been trying to stir up trouble for me and be a smart ass was fired. I know that Satan did some questioning of others because she didn’t believe me when I said certain people were starting trouble. Turns out that the truth did come out. I guess she realized she better go ahead and get rid of the trouble before it got worse.
Satan saw me today and didn’t say a word. She didn’t acknowledge me or anything. I feel like after she called me a liar that she owes me an apology. That’s something I won’t get. But it sure was nice to know that she finally realized I was right since she was so adamant that I was in the wrong.
Thanks, Karma, for letting me see it happen!
So I talk about work being Hell all the time. It still is, as usual. I am now at the point where I don’t freak. I drink lots of caffeine, cuss under my breath constantly and cope. Occasionally I take half of a happy pill and cope a little better.
The other day Satan was reviewing some things and said, “Anonymous, did you realize you still have vacation time to use?” I said, “Yes.” Satan said, “You have to use it before the holidays or you’ll lose them.” I glibly replied, “I have requests in.” Satan proceeded to freak out.
I have put in pretty much for the next month off at random times. They’re not the easiest times of the month. I had to put off taking time off because I had to wait for there to be some stability. Supposedly there is stability now. So my requests are in.
While a part of me is quite gleeful about my plans, I do also feel a little guilt. I knew exactly what I was doing when I requested the time off. One of the days I did kind of spring on them and it came out of the blue. It wasn’t strategic to harm the workplace. It was strategic to allow the maximum days off where I am not on call so that I can enjoy my time. The realistic part of me sees that as just being human. The part of me that is a workaholic is like “well, they might need you…”
My question to anyone reading this, would you feel guilty?