2021, I thought I was friends with 2020. Turns out she was a bitch and apparently her name was Karen. She drank a lot and was like a loose fucking cannon. And she argued with a white cat a lot. I really hope you’re better. I really can’t handle another 2020 situationship or another Karen. I can handle another white cat, though. So if you’re up for that, I am, too.
So here’s what I need in this friendship: I need some reciprocity. If I am nice, you need to be nice. It’s really simple. I also need you to take any medications that are necessary to keep you on an even keel. The bullshit that 2020 gave of murder hornets, Corona Virus, quarantines, hiding toilet paper, online arguments and some crazy orange man taking over the White House and sending out tweets to twits was just some over-the-top crazy. So 2021, take your damn meds! I’m all about holistic approaches, but not when you’re bouncing all over the place. Please! I am begging. Take your meds. You’ll feel better and so will the rest of the world.
I also need for you to give some warning of any chaos that may be coming. And can you please, for the love of God, keep Mother Nature from drinking too much? Last year she got a little crazy with some weather mood swings. We’d go from hot as Hades to freezing our asses off in the blink of an eye. Well, when we walked from our house to our cars trying to find the elusive toilet paper and Clorox wipes.
Maybe this year you can bring us some peace? That would be nice. Peace on earth and goodwill towards men (and women) would be such a nice change. It would be wonderful to be able to talk to others without screaming about politics and such. It would be great to have some pleasant things to talk about. Can you find some good things for us? All over the world? Please.
And maybe sprinkle some fairy dust or whatever it would take everywhere so that our moods improve. 2020/Karen really brought out the worst in us. I know there were times I behaved in ways I never thought imaginable. There was even the episode that my friends and I now refer to as “the day that Anonymous went Walmart on someone’s ass.” It was not a pretty day and many curse words were used. It was effective but it was not my normal nature.
Now I’d like to tell you that I am really glad you’re here, 2021. I am. I think your name should be Hope. You don’t look like a Karen at all. Let’s be friends and do some great things!
anonymous real thoughts 