Friendships and Breakups

You really find out who your friends are in times of troubles. Especially a breakup. The majority of my “friends” are assholes. Many of them don’t realize I am in the process of divorcing them. Their behavior was reprehensible.

I didn’t want to be alone this weekend. I wanted to get out and try to do something so that I didn’t sit home and cry all weekend. I put out a post asking if ANYONE would maybe meet me to go watch football or for dinner Saturday. i have almost 300 friends on Facebook. Not ONE responded. Not ONE!

There were some “What’s wrong?” questions. And here is a smattering of replies I received:

“Sometimes it is just better to be alone.”

“Some people will always be alone and maybe you are just going to have to realize that you’re one of those poeple.”

“You put yourself in a stupid situation and now you say you’re hurt? Really? I’m sorry but you got what you deserved.”

“You can’t develop feelings for someone you met online, even if you did talk on the phone and communicate other ways.”

“You’re overreacting.”

“Well, hopefully you learned something.”

“At least you hadn’t slept with him yet.”

“You give your heart away too easily.” (I have loved a total of 3 men in my entire life)

Yes, these are just some of the things I was told. I am angry with some of the people in my life for not understanding that my heart is broken. I loved that man.

So part of the problem things hurt so much is that I didn’t just lose a man I loved…I also lost family/friends I loved, too. I can’t abide by people who would treat me so callously. If you have no car for what I am going through, you have no place in my life.

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2 Comments

Filed under Life In General

2 responses to “Friendships and Breakups

  1. My heart hurts for what you must be going through. The time when you need your friends the most, they are turning their backs to you and that is heartbreaking. As cliche as this is, it’s a cliche because it’s true: Hard times reveal true friends. And as harsh as this may sound, it’s a good thing. Now you know who your friends are (or aren’t) and it’s never too late to start over again and find new ones. ❤

    • The grieving process has been so much bigger than losing him. It’s losing people who I thought loved and cared about me. I have had some who legitimately cared but the ones who were local didn’t. Finally I was at the breaking point with one of them because she felt it was her place to give me “tough love” and I told her I had enough damn tough love all weekend and finally broke down and told her everything everyone had said to me and that I was fucking sick of it. I told her there was a point where someone needed TLC rather than people pointing out another person’s stupidity. I never point out her stupidity when she fights with her husband. I gently take her side and try to see all angles. I would never tell her she needed to suck it up and get on with it or anything else. I got so angry that I asked “Is this the end of our friendship because I seem to be ending a few lately?” She was like, “Are you serious?” My answer was, “As a fucking heart attack. I’m tired of being attacked for having feelings.” Then I gave her the examples I listed and she was surprised. She backed off some, but she didn’t back off completely. I am not going to tolerate being put down for caring. And yes it was unconventional. So was my parents’ marriage. They knew each other 6 weeks, got married and were together 32 years. I believe in unconventional love! I witnessed it!

      Thank you so much for your care. You’re right…it wa a harsh way to see what the truth was.

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