My heart hurts. I don’t know how to grieve. I have grieved all my life. This is different. It was the beginning of love. And the end. I thought it was special. I have lost everyone in my life. I should know how to do this. I should. I have cried all weekend. I got drunk Friday night. I stayed sober Saturday. I went to church today. Nothing feels good. I have prayed. I feel like there is a hole in my heart. I honestly don’t know how I am alive. How do you stay alive with no beating heart? I am not sure.
What do y’all do when you hurt like this? My friends have not been supportive. One told me that I put myself in a position to get hurt so I pretty much deserved it. I lost love and friendships this weekend. I am at a loss. I’m hurt and angry.