That man is crazy and drives me crazy. I miss him when we don’t talk. I laugh, tell everything about myself, and wonder how on earth I met him when we talk. I am going to see him in December. I am scared. I am so scared. I mean, we are great in theory. But what if theory and reality don’t work? I think there will be chemistry. We are mentally connected.
Yesterday we were talking about December and he asked me, “Anonymous, what if when it is time for you to leave I can’t let you go?” I was like, “What?” He said, “I don’t know that I’m going to be able to say goodbye. I don’t do goodbyes well.” I didn’t know what to say. I finally said, “We’ll figure it out. I don’t know what we’ll do, but we’ll figure it out.” After a few minutes I then said, “You never know. After four days of me, you’ll probably be like ‘Go home, Bitch!'” He laughed and said, “No, Baby. I don’t think so.” It was sweet to know he’d been thinking of it. I have thought about it but tried to push it out of my mind. It’s scary.
I am usually a rational person. I do think with my heart but let my head make the final decisions. I am having such a hard time with that with him. I don’t want to think. I just want to laugh and enjoy. I haven’t done that in forever. It’s nice to feel happy, giggly, crazy and in love.