I don’t know if I have found the one or not. A part of me wishes we lived closer. A part of me is glad we don’t. While I love the mountains of Western North Carolina, I want to leave them. I have for years. I have prayed to leave. I have so many bad memories here. I love the beauty of the mountains. It is gorgeous. But there are many things I want to escape. Alabama is home. He lives in a different part than what I grew up in but it is all home.
So he and I talked and one thing we say which is odd is “I miss you.” We always kind of laugh because how do you miss someone you have never met? And yet we do. I miss him when I am not talking to him. I miss him when I don’t know what he is doing. I woke up this morning missing him. I have never even kissed the man and yet I missed him. And he says the same thing. “Anonymous, Baby, I just miss you. And it’s crazy. I think about you when I fall asleep. I wake up thinking about you. I woke up reaching for you this morning.” My heart melted.
And you know what? I am not a completely sappy person. Usually I kinda gag at stuff like this. And yet here I am all smiles and soft, dewy light. A coworker was like, “What the hell is wrong with you?” I just smiled a Mona Lisa smile and said, “Alabama.” She shook her head and was like, “OMG…you’ve lost your mind.” I thought to myself, “Yes. And my heart.”
I now understand those dumb love songs. I get what they mean. I hear them and smile. I sing so much more now. I have music in my head and heart. I am a damn fool.
I keep thinking of this song…