Should I stay or should I go now?

I have had a lot of negative feelings about the way my life has been going. It has made me anxious, hopeless and depressed. I have finally gotten to the point where I just can’t stand things the way they are.

Work is the main source of my discomfort. I have worked my ass off. Well, not literally. Actually I have gained a lot of weight due to the depression and frustration. As an example of the amount of work I have done, during the month of August I literally had 3 whole days off for a 31 day period. Yes, you read that correctly. My boss hasn’t cared that I am burnt out. In fact I think the boss is actually punishing me for some imagined misdeed.

The good news about this bullshit? I am actively seeking new employment. I can’t stand this life. It is driving me to the point where I cry driving to work. I am anxious at work because I am never sure when the boss is going to start some negative interaction.

I have had some interviews recently and they were very positive. I actually had a job offer that I am unsure about. I am almost desperate to say, “Yes!” But I don’t trust it. It’s involved in print media and I just don’t feel that is a good choice because the job has no benefits and I need insurance. I also feel that print media is dying. Most people are moving toward digital. I also interviewed with another company that seems like a good environment. I like that they invested money to do a personality assessment for the position that was intense. The test also was dead on. I will know in a few days if I make it to round 2.

The other issue of going…I have applied for jobs out-of-state. I have been selected to test for 2 really good jobs. The problem is that it’s 300 miles to the state and I don’t have time off from work. These positions are really good. But I am questioning this because I don’t have a place to live and right now my credit is crappy. I also am not ready to see some of my family and friends. I am concerned about the timing. I applied without the belief that I would be chosen at all. I wonder whether I should call in sick to work and make a 24 hour, 600 mile trip for 2 tests?

I am confused. I am frustrated. I am ready for a change.

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4 Comments

Filed under Life In General, Work/Employment/Necessary Evil

4 responses to “Should I stay or should I go now?

  1. I say you should do it. I mean, make sure that the jobs offer you benefits, but you are obviously miserable at the job you have now. It’s not good for your health…emotional or physical…to continue in the situation that you’re in. Do what you can to find something else, even if that means calling in sick and making that 600 mile trip.

    • I am definitely leaving the job I am in. I can’t continue to live this way. I’m scared about the jobs in Alabama. I don’t know if I could find a place to live. And I have to have Day and Night with me. Another large concern is the fact that my adopted mother is here and dying. I wouldn’t up and leave in a few days, but it’s hard.

      Thank you all so much for your support. I know in a positive atmosphere I will feel positive. And even if I don’t move 300 miles away, I am going to make positive changes. I have to. Something that the death of my cousin and this impending death have show me is that life is too precious to live with no contentment or joy. Believe it or not, I used to laugh and smile more. I want that again!

      • I think you’ll have it again. I’ll be praying that your job hunt goes well and for your adopted mother.

        • I have been thinking a lot about the possible move. I have decided for now I am staying in North Carolina. I did decide, though, that in a year if things are not better, I am moving back to Alabama. This gives me time to sort my life out and prepare. There will be a change, though! No matter what! I know that life is precious and I need to enjoy it.

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